Being Haven
Blog of Jareth Haven Ruadh
Gender Queer

Sub Blog : The Ring Of Steel

It began as a prize to be won.

.

If I was good enough, if I tried hard enough. If I endured enough. If I was perfect enough….someday, I would attain that coveted piece of steel. I went through abuse and trauma and hurt and pain and more than any person should ever have to at the hands of a man who was neither man, nor Dominant. If I did well, I would be ‘rewarded’ with a permanent place at his side…. and that collar.

In that time, love meant ownership. Love meant enduring pain and anguish and trauma and doing precisely what I was told. I know now that that is complete horse shit, and that I have a choice in who I obey, why, and when.

.

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It became an Escape.

.

A symbol of escaping my family and other forms of abuse. If I loved him well enough. If I could take care of myself. {I was too young and couldn’t…} If I let him save me, begged him to save me…. perhaps one day. Perhaps one day he would bless me with the symbol and keep me by his side. But, that was another wrong person, and I was still so very young.

.

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It became a Thought.

.

I remember when I thought I was a slave. I remember the abuse I endured. I remember the lost love and twisted relationships. I remember my failings. I remember theirs. I remember surviving… “What ever happened to that submissive being who only wanted a collar and a place at their feet….?”

.

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It turned into a Hope.

.

I collared myself with a chain and a lock. A symbol that my abuse was truly in the past. I decided I belonged to no one but myself, and that no one could force me to the ground again. But chains aren’t all that comfortable, and locks have a way of opening and closing when you least want them too. But maybe…. maybe I didn’t have to wait for a dominant…. maybe….

.

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It turned into a Goal.

When I can afford it. When I’m strong enough. When I deserve it…
I kept fighting my training. I kept struggling to get better. Not to earn a silver steel ring, but to earn my own respect. To stop reacting in ways that I could not control. To take my Self back. To control and hold and keep and OWN my SELF. The collar become a symbol not of another owning me, but of me owning my Self, and choosing when and how and why and where and for how long I would submit.

.

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It became my Reality.

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Last night, I bought my Collar.
A simple, silver ring that locks. Nothing more. Jewelry to some. A symbol to others. To me…. so much more than these. At times coveted, and others prized… at times a symbol of oppression and hurt and pain… and now of hope. Of strength of will.

.

I just want to thank Vad Farkas for creating a piece that’s quality and beauty I firmly believe is worthy of the struggle I’ve been through to get to this place.

-Haven

Anonymous asked:

Part of me thinks a Slytherin would have befriended Hermione in her first year. Even if she was a "Mudblood" she was still by far the smartest student in the year. She seemed vulnerable enough the first time Ron mouthed off at her that anybody could have just came up to her with a silver-tongue. Do you think that would have worked out, so to speak?

thingsaboutslytherins:

Interesting thought… if said Slytherin got over the pure-blood prejudice, I can see at least a friendship forming. But I think she may have had enough of breaking the rules with Harry.

[Theme Change]

Torn between watching more X-men, taking a shower, and cooking something. 

I don’t wanna move, but I know I’d feel better after a shower…. although, honestly, I’m wondering if the constant wet-hair thing might be part of why I’m sick….

things about Slytherins #75

thingsaboutslytherins:

Slytherins hate small talk. They find it extremely hard and pointless to talk about nothing for extended periods of time. However, they are willing to have a deep, philosophical, or hypothetical conversation with someone they just met, and will enjoy it immensely.

Anonymous asked:

each house preparing to go on an adventure

hogwartshousehabits:

Ravenclaw:

image

Gryffindor:

image

Hufflepuff:

image

Slytherin:

drappleluv:

I hate this. Do you really think the sorting hat picks your house depending on your hair colour?! Dark hair…… well that bitch is a straight up Ravenclaw. No doubt.

drappleluv:

I hate this. Do you really think the sorting hat picks your house depending on your hair colour?! Dark hair…… well that bitch is a straight up Ravenclaw. No doubt.

(Source: laurajune0617)

hugs-and-no-regrets:

I really dislike the whole "Ron is really a Hufflepuff." thing that I’ve seen a bit of in headcannons and theories. The main traits of Hufflepuff are…

  • Patience

  • Loyalty

  • Hardworking

Now, Ronald Weasley does not possess any of these traits.

  • Patience: Ronald Weasley is shown…

(Source: hugsandnoragrets)

harrypotterconfessions:

[[I wish there had of been at least one Slytherin student in the DA]]

harrypotterconfessions:

[[I wish there had of been at least one Slytherin student in the DA]]